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Wednesday, February 01, 2006
http://stress-liveitup.blogdrive.com
Hey my dearest friends.....
who are still coming here and looking for me.. and wondering why my blog is annoyingly stagnant... Lol. i've moved... so relink me at...
http://stress-liveitup.blogdrive.com
Cheers people. =)
- sArAh -
Posted at Wednesday, February 01, 2006 by sArAhtuck3r
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Sunday, September 12, 2004
I DUN WANNA GO BACK TO SCH.
okay fine.
im anti school.
and juz got blasted.gtg
Posted at Sunday, September 12, 2004 by sArAhtuck3r
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Friday, August 27, 2004
i had my cheering com todae.
we lost. oh well.
no offence. but i expected tat.
i somehow felt tat its hard to do it.
i dunno y.
but i wished and wished tat i cud do it.
i was dere....
but it wasn't good enuff.
maebi i was d cause of their failure...
maebi i wasn't...
i'll neva noe wud i ?
wadeva. it doesn't matter animore to me.
seriousli.it doesn't.
not when my frenz dun realli care.
esp when one of them lied
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 daes l8er .....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my two juniors tried to cheer me up after school.
a nice lunch afer so mani weeks.
its hard to sae. but it was weird. like i knew dem fer realli long.
my best fren who spoke to me was insensitive toward my feelings.
my own bez fren. yet d two of 'em cud make me happi fer awhile. but all good thins dun last.
they don't.
i'll tell u more abt wad happenend yesterdae.. l8er. if i can.
if i have enuff courage to relive the trauma.
Posted at Friday, August 27, 2004 by sArAhtuck3r
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Friday, August 06, 2004
back to d old drawing board .again. deja vu.
long time no blog le.
probabli bcoz i juz came back.
from another round of hospitalisation.
hahas
u mite probabli be tinkin.
" what !! not again !!?? "
yea i got warded again. but nth realli serious.
[note: nth realli serious. lol. otherwise i wudn't be in hospital.]
=) *smiles* im fine le *smiles* (=
hahas.
actualli took a long time to come to my senses in d hospital.
muahahas. ----> expensive kid.
well... lotsa stuffs happened lateli.
hahas... oh yea. we had NDP celebration todae...
tats y im home so earli...
was wif maureen after school.
went to old chang kee den back to lam soon.
went dere and met 201 gang.
chatted and sat wif 1C fer awhile... den..
caught up again wif d 201 gals..
l8er we walked back to lot one...
ran into Faiz..and l8er into stella/da jie too.
was supposed to go look fer cuilan..
coincidentalli ran into ning yuan and kenny.
exchanged a couple of words...
and continued on our search fer frenny frenny.
dey didn't realli seem to bother abt us lookin fer dem.
[ humph ---> ;P ]
so i kinda lost my temper and stormed off.
maebi it was good too.
at least dere was someone to fix my com.
me.
[wad were u thinkin? mi pay for someone else to do it.]
now im writing my bloggy...[u lar...]
.........................................................................
well alot of stuff haf happened. alot of interesting stuff..
i'll fill ya in a while..
maebi l8er.... so cya l8er....i needa cool down first.
im fine.
- sArAh - fine. he's so cute. =]
even though people say stuff dey dun mean. [tats wad dey sae]
its still has a 30% truth. tats y dey said it.
Posted at Friday, August 06, 2004 by sArAhtuck3r
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Monday, July 19, 2004
giving up all ova again....
i feel like i've lost everything.
everything i own.
i feel so empty,
as i sat on d chair at d table todae.
i was waitin fer someone to come.
chewin' a couple of fries..
i felt like i was waitin' fer an eternity tat wud neva arrive.
i felt so empty sittin' dere.
haix.
like i knew it was ova.
Now im sittin here...half dead.
sick. so sick. so damn sick.
damnit.if u tink im gonna be nice. i gif up.
hello ! i wanted to crap.
i wanted to be nice.
but u dun take it well......
den i can't help it.
u choose den lemme noe. im so tired,
of all this crap. i wanna gif up all ova again...
http://stress-liveitup.blogdrive.com
[ read d first article - chronologicalli reversed ]
juz wanna cut myself up and all....haix...
den perhaps i'll feel beta.....juz watchin it flow outta mi...
feel so darn useless...
watchin' dem tok...
feelin' left out...
i wan it all to end. here. right now.
gif mi a break ! plz.
- sArAh- dilemna. hurt. tragedy.
Posted at Monday, July 19, 2004 by sArAhtuck3r
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Sunday, July 18, 2004
old folks r juz so pitiful...
sometimes...
it makes mi wonder...
it does. it realli does.
Where in deir hearts can d young ppl actualli find d space,
d space to dump deir parents at a home.
after 2 trips dere..i solemnli swear tat i will so neva do tat..
[not like i need to aniwae. i can't and i won't]
its so depressin'... [not like i went dere in a heavenli mood.]
d way dey tok abt death. d waitin'.
d commin' of something to rob dem of deir very lives.
It like so pre - anticipated.
almost EVERYone is like tat.
the priests are d onli sane ppl ard dere...[ i tink. ]
besides d doctors and all...
simpli. i feel worse. i won't even dump a fish.
[fishes rn't realli anti depressants fer mi despite its beauty]
much less my parents..
[even though sometimes its realli temptin']
i dunno wad to tink.
my mind is so in a whirl.
i dunno wad to feel abt this society.
no one is right. no one is wrong either.
where then does d fault lie ??
WAD is life ? tell mi. someone.
dere dey r. laden wif illnesses.
sick wif diseases.
left to rot alone.
yet no one can even spare a day to come and visit dem.
is it realli becoz we do not haf d time ???
or r we juz bein' lazi ....
i feel d problem lies wif our society...
n d upbringin' of us youngsters nowadays.
[myself included.]
juz becoz i made a trip dere. i won't claim im a saint.
but someone. someone.
notice how dey r sufferin'
fer tat lil' bit of attention. tat lil' bit of love.
can't we spare dem a bit of time ??
not even 2 hours ?
i honestli ask myself.
if i wud haf eva felt this wae...
had i neva gone dere........
d look in her eyes... her words....
haf etched demselves a big carving -
in my heart ....
- sArAh - tell mi. i wanna go back dere badli.
Posted at Sunday, July 18, 2004 by sArAhtuck3r
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Tuesday, July 13, 2004
neva eva enuff.wud dere be ?
wad i do will neva eva be enuff wud it ??
not at home nor in school.
i went to help wif housework on my own accord.
but wad do i ged ?
a load of crap shit .
"go fetch clothes from d balcony"
"go lar..go lar ..."
while u juz sit dere and watch Tv.
when i offer u assistance.
u snub me.
u scold mi.
i told u abt d bloody cockroach,so dun cum runnin' to mi nx time.
u told mi.
"either u catch it.if not LEAVE IT."
"Yes ma'am" or "Yes sir" or "Yes missy" .
ppl in sch r not much beta either.
i wanted to plae bball.
i noe i hafn't been dere fer a long time.
but u dun hafta treat mi liketat.
i dun even noe wad i did to offend u.
i merely asked u ,"can i join in ?"
u didn't respond. u'de usualli be okay wif it.
den todae.i juz tried to join.
d minute i walked over.
u flung d ball in my direction.
ani idea tat it hurts.
coz i dun even noe wad d hell i did.
den u shout ,"wo bu yao da le" (i dun wanna plae animore)
And u sit by the side.
i walk over to ask u wads wrong.
u stuck ur hand in my face ," bu yao gen wo jiang hua." (dun tok to mi)
den u said u didn't feel like plaein.
u grabbed ur bball gave it to ur classmate.
cast me a shifty look or glare. [wadeva]
"bu yao rang wai ren dong zhe li qiu..." (dun let outsiders touch this ball)
HELLO.
ani idea how i feel ?
u dun even lemme noe y i deserve to be treated this wae ???
y !!!???
oh please...let this all be a dream. please...
i wanna wake up and find everthing as before.
When i was tokin' to HIM.
He made me feel like i exsisted.
He treated mi like a fren.
though we were no more then aquaintances.
He made me feel happi.
but now he's gone.
gOnE. so near yet so far.
i miss him yet i haf no way of tellin' him
I'm so longing.desperate.i give up.im desperate.
Posted at Tuesday, July 13, 2004 by sArAhtuck3r
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Friday, July 09, 2004
fall back take a look at mi.
and u 'll c im fer real.
im feelin sth onli i can feel ...
" hang up d phone i got a back bone stronger den urs... "
"u tink u noe mi ?"
"do u gif a damn? do u understand tat i cannot be wad i can't ... "
hurhur. i neva blogged fer a realli long time.
oh plz.
dun start askin' mi y.
i feel cheated. [wow. short and sweet and straight to d point.]
i looked at d phone twice. hopin' it wud ring.
but it didn't.
i looked at my hp.hopin' to receive an sms.
but i didn't.
juz an apology. is it tat damn hard fer ur alter EGO.
[dere again...maebi it is to bloody EGOISTs' .]
Look im gonna sae it once.
i've been hurt. i do not deserve this. i noe.
but u mean more to me than my own life.
if one day, sth happens to mi...
all i want is to c ur face. one more time.
i've got a feelin though...
[by the time u read this. i mite alreadi be dead.]
`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`
onli wish u cud read this before d laz drop of life trickles out of mi...
but i will wait. i will.
"if u wanna bring mi down... go ahead n try. "
[with compliments from avril's nobody's fool]
Posted at Friday, July 09, 2004 by sArAhtuck3r
Permalink
plz plz dun ask mi.
dun ask mi anithing .
i SoOoO do not wanna answer
anything OR anyone.
seriousli.
i haf a couple of juniors from my school.
i can't seem to c d logic as to y dey can't get along.
Honestli. y do dey hafta make mi choose ?
dey want mi to choose between dem both,
i juz feel its immature. dey r sec one.
tats 13. THIRTEEN. HELLO. its TEEN.
oMg.
wads wif this i fren u. i dun fren u thing ?
like duh. IM in d MiDdLE.
IF not. i SERIOUSLI dun wanna gif a damn.
wake up. n GET A LIFE.
dere r so mani more ppl out dere whu can be ur fren.
Not juz mi ... [im not tat gr8 aniwae...]
passin' notes. its one thing.
But when u pull d god sister and god brother strings.
ITs mi ure tokin' abt . [n bloody hell i dun like it.]
like wad am i ?
some puppet ?
u dun like mi u dun tok to mi.
i dun even ged a msg from u.
u dun even repli those i send u.
wad more den can i sae ???
den how izzit all of a sudden,
u reappear into my life and make preposterous demands.
do i owe u my life ??? [i dun tink so... no siree...]
i dunno. but im sorri.
especialli if im gonna hurt nimore ppl. [unintentionalli... of coz.]
coz im so fed up.
I dun hear from ppl till dey realli nid mi.
[although i shuld be accustomed to this by now actualli ...]
but c'mon. look at mi . up close.
im as normal as anione of u out dere r.
but y can't i be granted a choice ???
Posted at Friday, July 09, 2004 by sArAhtuck3r
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Thursday, July 01, 2004
okay fine fine fine.
i noe im not as regular as i used to be animore.
but its not like im sittin' around doin' nothin' okay.
wadeva. finalli.
i juz got a new A- math teacher yesterdae.
It was atrocious. [...or so i thought.]
i mean...
who comes into class with a whole stack of papers.
u heard me right. PAPERs !!!
but it isn't wad u tink. It's a pupil personal questionaire form.
If u ask my opinion [which i wud actualli tell u not to bother wif...]
i tink it sux ! SUX!
Whu actualli brings questionaires to class ?
Just teach wad u hafta n den ged out...
to add to d worst of it. he says:
"im goin' to save u all the trouble of remeberin' which questions to do."
and we thought we were saved.
"just do everything."
hello. EVERYTHING ??!!!
He's mad. positively mad. in fact . he's INSANE. pure NUTs.
i neva seen such a wacko.
But on account of him lettin' me extend my homework deadline,
[by abt 5 daes.]
i 'll let sleepin' dogs lie.
haix.
im so sleepy.
bBl . . . . . . ( be back l8er )
Posted at Thursday, July 01, 2004 by sArAhtuck3r
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Name: sarah elizabeth chua shuyi
Age: 15 +
Horoscope: Aquarius
Zodiac: Dragon
Birthstone: Garnet
E-mail: sarah_elizabeth_chua_shuyi@hotmail.com
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